Episode #4: How “Unworthiness” Holds Us Back In Life

Welcome back.  Thank you so much for joining.  I’m your host Mandy Curry and in today’s show we are talking about how unworthiness and self-love and lack of self-love hold us back in our journey.

(intro) There is a part of us that knows the answers to our biggest questions in life.  That knows why we’re here, what we’re here to do, what we’re here to be.  We all feel this desire to be of service in the greatest way.  To contribute to humanity in our own unique way, but what is it?  For many of us it’s hard to put into words.  We just have a feeling that we’re here for more.  And until that more is discovered we often find ourselves restless, unfulfilled, hopeless, and frustrated.  The answers we seek are inside of us and lead us to living our highest potential.  This show is about finding and connecting with that part of us that knows the way, our spirit within.  Everything we want to do, be, and have is here and ready for us. Welcome to Spiritual Connection with Mandy Curry.

(show beginning) In today’s show we are talking about unworthiness and how unworthiness holds us back in our journey.  And that might not sound like a very important topic but as we venture into this stage that humanity is entering into, where truly anything is possible for our life, as we began to rise up and begin to see a rising up of humanity, there are some dense feelings and emotions and beliefs that we have to release in order to rise up.  And a big one, a very big one, as you begin to really dissect your beliefs and you begin to get a feel for what might be holding you back, you’ll probably find that at the root of most of your beliefs, most everything that holds you back, you’re probably going to find unworthiness at the root of it.  Some might call that peeling back the onion a little bit.  And when you get to the core of the onion you might find that its unworthiness that is actually impacting us the most from really living the life that we came here to live.

So in today’s show I want to talk a little bit about how we can tell what unworthiness beliefs might be impacting us. I want to talk a little bit about how we even got to that place. Why we stopped valuing our worth.  Why we stopped feeling worthy.  And then we’ll talk about some ways that we can begin to step into our worth again.

And so first one of the best exercises that I love to do around worthiness is to start with the affirmation of “I am worthy of having it all.”  If you were to go outside and you were to yell up into the clouds or to say out loud “I am worthy of having it all.”  Do that and notice immediately what comes to mind.  And if you don’t want to do it outside, that’s fine.  You can do it in a private place where you have an opportunity to really feel your emotions as you say that. To begin to even jot down what comes to mind as you say that.  I know that the first couple of times that I began to say that, and it even took me a while to even say it out loud even.  To say those words out loud was quite a step for me and it didn’t feel comfortable at all.  And you might find then that as you begin to say those words “I am worthy of having it all,” begin to notice what comes to the surface.  Does your body begin to tense up when you say that?  Do you have thoughts come into your mind that immediately then counter that affirmation?  Do you immediately have beliefs that come to the surface that will tell you otherwise, that you are not worthy of having at all?  It’s one of those exercises that we can’t really gloss over.  We’ve got to go deep.  We have to go deep to really find out what is at the root of that and what is causing us to feel the sense of unworthiness.  We’ve got to really go deep and find out what is that the root of really causing this unworthiness.

And so as you begin to go deeper and deeper and deeper with your beliefs, you’re going to find what is at the root of all of it and so it is, it’s this unworthiness.  This feeling that we’re just not good enough.  And what happens, well that then begins to hold us back from living our highest potential.  Not only does it hold us back from living our highest potential, it often keeps our energy a little bit stagnant.  Oftentimes if you are one who tunes into your body and into your energies, you might find that there are certain areas of your body where maybe the energy gets a bit stuck and then over time if those energies stay kind of built up and they’re not flowing, that’s often what can cause the disease, that dis-ease, in our body because the energy just isn’t flowing.  Sometimes it just gets stuck because those dense heavy feelings that we have.  And so you began to see how important all of this is and how important tuning into your body is when it comes to self love and self worth.  And as you begin to notice that you begin to see the ways that you can start contributing and healing and looking for those ways that you can begin healing your own body.  It also holds us back from being able to heal our own bodies.

My friend and mentor Sarah Landon, who has worked with thousands of individuals and helping them with their healing journey, has been able to really start to see the way that beliefs start to impact our health journey.  Perhaps you’ve heard of the way that beliefs do impact our health and do cause disease in the body.  For example, arthritis, that feeling of not being loved is what manifests itself into arthritis.  Feelings of self-criticism often manifest themselves in the way of headaches.  Our adrenal glands,  feelings of not being supported.  Our thyroid function, feelings of not getting what we desire in the world. Back pain, feelings of not being supported by others or not feeling like we’re financially supported.   We begin to look at the root of what all of that is.  It’s feelings of not good enough.  Feelings of lack of self-worth, lack of self-love. And we begin to see how that manifests itself in what we call dis-ease, disease, in the body.  And so it plays a really really big part.

So how did we even get to this point?  When did we stop loving ourselves?  When did we begin to lose that feeling of self-worth?  And more importantly, did we ever even really have it?  And so you can look at many things in our life and you can begin to see how well it wasn’t perhaps the design or intent, but how some things have contributed to these feelings of lack of self-worth and unworthiness.  Even our most sacred religious teachings often have feelings of lack of self-worth.  If you look at some of our weekly religious practices where we are saying a common theme every week, saying things like “Lord I am not worthy to receive you.”  Saying things like that.  And while some would say well there’s a lot more to the story behind saying that and yes there is but not to that five-year-old child who is at his weekly worship service and he every week says Lord I’m not worthy to receive you.  And he begins to say that over and over every week for his entire life not really knowing the background behind, perhaps never even quite being taught the background.  Just feeling like they are unworthy.  That they are unworthy of God.  That they are unworthy of whom many refer to as their father at a much higher level.  And so you began to see while our religions have such good intent, sometimes they began to make us feel like we’re unworthy.   We are often told that we are sinners and that there is good and evil and that as a sinner sometimes we do evil things.  And we sometimes have that picture of ourselves that if we’re not perfect then we’re sinners.  We’ve done something that our father would not approve of.  We often believe or are told that if we aren’t following the way of God that we won’t make our way into heaven.  And then there are also those who adamantly say that we are not God.  And so we lose that feeling of the God within us because we’ve placed it outside of us.  And so you began to see how even those religions with the best intent can sometimes contribute to our feelings of unworthiness at a very small age.  And as you know and as science proves that most of our beliefs that we adopt and carry throughout our entire life we pick those up at a very young age as a child and so oftentimes that’s what happens they just become a part of our subconscious programming and you probably know now after beginning to dissect your beliefs that sometimes those get a little harder to start to replace if we’ve lived with those deep rooted beliefs not only for our entire life, but also for generation after generation after generation.

And so another area that begins to contribute to our feelings of unworthiness is also in our work environments.  You see things like hierarchy where we have one person over another person.   One person is elevated in a perceived higher position than another person and there is an assumed there is an assumption that that person is in a higher place.  That that person is better than another person because of hierarchy or a role that they assume.  And so you can begin to see how even things like our organizations are set up in a way that contribute to these feelings and beliefs of unworthiness.  And so it plays a part in every part of our life.  In our home life, in our relationships, in our financial life. Why do you think that for so many of the world we feel this lack and we feel loss and we feel like we’re not prosperous many cases?  That goes back to feelings of unworthiness and so once we peel back the onion and as you know as you begin to peel back an onion what happens?  Well it oftentimes makes us cry right.  Well that’s what happens to as we begin to get a little bit deeper in some of these beliefs.  Sometimes it’s a little bit harder for us to work through some of these but as we mentioned before, as we ascend, as humanity ascends, and to really begin to live the potential that we know is here for us, we’ve got to release those deep beliefs that hold us back.  And this is the time now more than ever that we are now being invited to release those beliefs that have held us back for such a very long time.

The second thing that you can begin to do after you begin to process through the affirmation of I am worthy of having it all the second one that you can do is to say that I unconditionally love myself. I unconditionally love myself. As you began to say that again be mindful and take note of what comes to the surface.  How does your body feel as you begin to say that?  Does your body tense up a little bit do you feel a little bit of discomfort possibly in your stomach area?  Do you feel some tightness around your body?  What does it feel like when you say I unconditionally love myself? Because when we really get again to the root of unworthiness what we find is also lack of self-love.  Lack of self-love and unworthiness are two that are intertwined.  Generally one leads to the other and vice versa.  They’re almost always interconnected.

And so as you began to uncover your beliefs about love and I know many of us gloss over this and I certainly did for the longest time.  For most of my life I glossed over self-love. I didn’t think that it applied to me at all. I had no interest in it. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t care about it.  Nothing about self-love interests me. I just didn’t really think that I needed to understand it or learn it.  I didn’t even know that that was one of my limiting beliefs.  Didn’t even know.  Didn’t even care.  Didn’t even want to go there.  And then as I began to really start to do these processes and sit with it for a while, well then I began to find that at the root of every single thing, everything that could have potentially held me back and I don’t mean that in a victim way because truly this has been my greatest expansion my greatest form of learning for my whole entire life, but I learned that it was self love and it was worthiness at the root of all of it.  And once I began to realize that everything changed.

So how do we begin to love our self again?  How do we begin to really step into our worth and to step into really the knowing that we are worthy of having it all? And one of the most valuable things that we can do is really just begin to get quiet with ourselves and start to shed all of it.  Begin to see yourself shedding your your body, shedding your emotions, shedding all of the outer layers and simply beginning to see who you are at your core.  Who you are at your core is love and light.  Love and light. That is the eternal you that goes on forever.  And so your body, your emotions, your personality self, it’s just this cover over the love and light that you are.  And sometimes these dense beliefs that we have, well what they do is they just kind of dim our light a little bit. That’s all. They just dim our light a little.  And so once we begin to just think about ourselves and think about us as our true perfection that we are the eternal part of us, that perfect eternal part of us, we realize that there’s never anything wrong.  It all serves our expansion.  And perhaps we’ve had a lot that we have placed, or others have placed, over the love and light that we are.  Over the years and now we get to just begin to release it all.  We began to release it. We release all of these deep beliefs that have just overtaken our light a little bit. They’ve just dimmed our light a little. And as you begin to shed more and more and more you’re going to find that your heart opens quite a bit more.  And you’re going to find that your light shines quite a bit more.  And you’re going to find that everything in your life begins to change.  And so getting back to just really the eternal you.  Of who you really are at the root of it is one ways that you began to really step into your worth and step into your self-love again.

Now what that also means is giving yourself a break. Giving yourself a break and not being so hard on yourself. Because remember you are here for your soul’s expansion.  If we came through this life experience perfect well there’d be no expansion in that.  There is no expansion in being perfect.  We are here to experiment with it all.  And so through it all is how we began to expand and really come here to live the life that we came here to live.  That we designed that was really a part of our divine plan.  So pay attention to the way that we talk to ourselves.  It’s really important and we don’t always notice it and maybe we find that we are so caring and so loving of everyone around us and that we think no ill thoughts of anyone around us.  We don’t speak any ill thoughts of anyone around us but how many times have you done that with yourself.  You might find that the person that you speak the most harmful thoughts and words to is really you.  And that’s where we again hold ourselves back.  We are overly critical of ourselves. We expect perfection from ourselves.  We get mad when we do something wrong.  We are our toughest critic.  And while some would agree well that’s a good thing.  I would also say though that that is what contributes to our feelings and our beliefs of unworthiness and lack of self-love.  The way that we talk to ourselves.  If you got into the habit of saying those words out loud you probably would be surprised and shocked at the words and thoughts about yourself that go through your head.  And if they’re going through your head they might as well come out of your mouth because they all impact your energy and your vibration and what you attract into your life. And so it’s really important that even were very mindful of even those thoughts in our head about ourselves.

And so if we want to step into our self-worth and our self-love it goes back to those feelings that we think about us.  And from that point once we begin to really note that and some of this is just bringing it to the to your awareness.  Some of this is simply bringing it to our conscious minds because once we bring it to our conscious minds, we realize it and then it’s the aha moment.  That’s where the biggest growth comes is just in sometimes bringing all of this to our conscious awareness.  Just bringing it all to our awareness is what can cause the biggest amount of growth in our life.  And this is one of those things so just be mindful of our words about ourself can change it all.

And the final thing that can help you to really step into your worth and to your self love is to step into the knowing that you came here with a set of skills with a set of traits and characteristics and a role to play that only you can fulfill.  No one else in the entire world billions and billions and billions of people. No one else came in with the exact same set of skills and characteristics and role to play that you did.  Imagine if you will the entire globe as one big puzzle piece.  You are a part of that puzzle and without you the puzzle isn’t complete.  And while that sounds a bit cliche and perhaps even a bit silly it is the truth. There are skills that only you have. It was a part of the divine plan that you set for your life.  It was what you wanted to contribute.  It was the impact and role that you wanted to have.  It was the contribution that you wanted to make. And you created that plan when you were in your oneness with All That Is.  And you said this is what I want to do.  This is the role I want to have.  This is how I want to help and contribute to humanity.  This is what I want to learn and expand.  And this is what I want to be a part of and I want to experience.  All of this.  And I also want to contribute to humanity because this is the best time humanity has ever seen.  And I want to be there for that.  And so that’s what you came here with and only you can do that.  And so on those times when you’re not feeling very worthy.  You’re not feeling a lot of love for yourself, just remember that that’s what you came here for.  You came here to find the love within you.  You came here with your skills and your characteristics and your traits that only you could deliver and contribute to this world to make it complete and to help humanity with its rising up.  Which is exactly what is happening right now and the beauty of all of that is that
oftentimes your greatest contributions to humanity are in your being.  Even more than your doing.  There is a being.  There is you at your essence.  Your being, your vibration, your energy can have even more impact on the world than even your actions.  That is how powerful that you are.  That is how worthy that you are.  That is the love that you are.  And so it is a very very powerful time to look at our beliefs and feelings around worthiness and self-love.

As we begin to wrap up I remind you of those two exercises and those two affirmations affirmations are really important because as you began to bring old beliefs to the surface it’s important to replace them with something else. What can you begin to replace and to begin to plant within your subconscious
mind. That’s what affirmations do.  So the affirmation of I am worthy of having it all, we’re just reverse engineering that a little bit. So first you say the affirmation I am worthy of having it all.  We’re dissecting the beliefs that come up.  That’s how we’re kind of finding out what really is at the surface.  And then once we begin to get all of that out of the way, then that affirmation becomes a part of our subconscious.  It becomes easier for our brain and our mind to be able to understand and to buy into.  And that’s a really important part of the process.  So beginning to say that affirmation, I am worthy of having it all. Saying that often.  And then your mind begins and your brain begins to believe it.  And it doesn’t take as much time as you might think.  As you begin to say that affirmation you might find that in just a couple of weeks, maybe you’re saying it maybe you’re writing it, whatever it might be, but the more that you are incorporating that into your life then the more it begins to be planted in your subconscious.

The second one, I unconditionally love myself.  The more that you begin to say that and again we’re reverse engineering those affirmations.  I unconditionally love myself.  We’re gonna dissect the beliefs that might be getting in the way of that and then we’re going to continue to repeat that over and over until it’s again planted into our subconscious and our subconscious and our brain begins to believe it.  And it’s not going to take very long for that to happen.

So those are the two ways that you can use really positive and those are big affirmations.  If you want to step in to your highest potential of what is really possible for your life.  To really begin to step into the divine plan that you created for your life.  If you want to step into that with the fullness and with a real desire to begin to live it, those are two affirmations that can really begin to do that.

So thank you so much for joining this week’s episode.  I can’t wait to talk with you again very soon and I hope that you find that this topic around worthiness and self-love, it’s an absolute game changer for our lives and as we step into the potential that we truly can live.  Because once we begin to really release these dense beliefs around unworthiness and lack of self-wort, you’re going to find that you begin to rise up in every area of your life and you truly step into the possibility.  You step into all that is possible for your life in the biggest way and in a short amount of time.  It is an absolute life-changing experience when we begin to really step into our worth and our self-love.

Thank you so much for watching and I can’t wait to talk with you again real soon.